more than enough

God always has an answer for everything. Sometimes its a blessing, sometimes its plain frustrating because its not the answer we want. I had mentioned in an earlier blog about feeling like Job. Never did I think how much more I would feel like him. Monday I broke up with Justin. This was the hardest thing Ive ever had to do. I say had because it was God's answer to my question and because of circumstances that led to my question. Its been a roller coaster of emotions since. Even though I have the support of many wonderful people whom I love dearly, I still couldn't help but ask the question why.

I knew why in a way because my relationship with God had grown so much while dating Justin and it made me more desperate for Him. God has placed in me a strength I never knew I could have. Yet, I still question why. I was so ready to start a family and I miss that male companionship (when things were going well) that I got from Justin.

Sunday morning started out rough and it got worse. I didnt feel like going to worship, but I knew I needed it more than ever. However, sitting in service, I was surrounded by cute, lovey-dovey couples. Normally I smile at the obsurdity of the cuteness, but that day it was just another reminder rubbed in my face that I am, once again, alone.

Back to the "God has an answer for everything," every single song we sang that day had in the lyrics about God being more than enough and His grace is enough. My first thought was, "what a copout, how am I supposed to feel that way when I want so much to be with my soulmate (whomever he is now)." But God is right (as always, once again!). I asked Him to make that real to me and allow me to be content with the situation I'm in now. I still don't always feel that way, but I'm coming closer to a heart-understanding of it.